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Walking Away From Omelas
AP Studio
(2017-2018)
AP Portfolio Score: 5
This concentration was inspired by the short story by Ursula K. Le Guin entitled "The Ones Who Walk Away From Omelas", where a utopia thrives, but at the expense of a single miserable child, locked in a cell. For this collection of pieces, I reillustrate this story, with myself as the child. Except, in this narrative, I leave the cell.
My senior year of high school consisted of a lot of inner conflict and...I'll describe it as a numb ache. The concept of growing up freaked me out. As per usual of high school seniors, I felt the pressure to figure out my future when I barely knew my present. I was terrified because my thoughts convinced me graduation corresponded with saying "goodbye" to people I grew to feel safe around. The path I was convinced I was tied to pursuing after high school was lacking a spark. I encountered an unsettling epiphany that I suppressed my personal interests and desired for almost all of my life until then. My sense of identity was watered down and distorted.
These extremely brief descriptions do not dive into every bit of thought that went into each of these pieces. I could unpack whole essays for each individual work to try explaining their significance to me. The clarity for the next step in my life depended on my ability to revisit my wounds and recollect who I had become and was bound to be. The progression of reliving my memories is expressed through these twelve pieces, mainly manipulating color, symbolism, and motifs. Ultimately, this project enabled me to look back, reflect, acknowledging the bad and the good of my past. I collect the courage to walk away from my childhood and carry my memories with me as I walk away to the next part of my life.
Skeleton Key
Keys possess the notorious role of unlocking and opening.
I was completely incapable of expressing and conveying my emotions and thoughts.
Although many external factors contributed to holding me back from any form of expression, I played a role in keeping the key from turning.
The Cellar
My house never really felt like home.
Simply getting out of the environment did not save me from the residual effects that lingered through every moment of life.
This is also the first piece of mine that features the black dog, a presence that I reintroduce to my work regularly.
Let Me Out [KJH]
Am I leaving?
Am I stopping someone else from leaving?
Who's to blame for me remaining where I am?
This is draining
Plague
Don't assume that disease is the only thing that damages and inhibits.
Praise is not always received in the manner you believe it is presented.
"Compliments" might carry toxins too.
Mute
A New;
My art teacher told me this piece didn't look finished.
It's not supposed to look finished.
Or else the story would be over.
Mosaic
I was previously ashamed of all that I labeled as broken, scattered fragments of myself.
During this process, I learned to embrace all of them.
Mosaics are beautifully crafted from scattered fragments all the time. I can be too.
After finding and reclaiming all the little pieces I used to categorize as "broken", "incomplete", and "tainted", it was time to start understanding and appreciating how everything comes together to compile the essence of who I am.
Even if the ideas were vague or appear excessively abstract, it was still the most consolidated and cohesive view of myself I had ever known.
Not everyone needs to understand.
I have just started to.
There is so much of who I am that I have yet to meet.
Breathe
The Conquering
The creature looming out of the black dog's figure is something I continuously drew sketches within the year prior.
When I felt like drawing what I felt was in my mind, this creature of the result.
I've drawn this moment, with the creature emerging from the black dog, over and over. The representation of how confusingly harmless or passive issues seem to others, in contrast to how heavy and daunting they truly are to endure and overcome.
Imbolc
(noun):
A Gaelic traditional festival marking the beginning of spring
The left is everything I dominantly associated with my childhood. The period of my life that felt like an everlasting winter.
This piece served as an eye-opener, showing me how differently I perceived myself and how others perceived me. I focus on my past, as the memories cycle through over and over. But my friends see my present. They welcome me into spring.
For the right section, I specifically asked my friends and others around me to tell me what they associate with me. From colors, qualities, items, and ideas.
Dear Me,
You don't have to say goodbye.
Don't say goodbye.
Don't forget us.
Don't forget yourself.
Don't forget me.
Forget me not.